Part Nineteen: If We Had A Million Dollars

We have talked already about attempting to prioritize our goals for the future.  About trying to slim down our dream so, in the end, we have the main things we are looking for.

But, when you peruse the pages of the real estate magazines and see words like “waterfront”,  ”acreage”, and “chef’s kitchen” burning holes in your eyes… it is easy to fall back into old habits.

Not that a chef`s kitchen has ever been in our life… but dreaming of one definitely has!

It is wishing back every dollar ill spent. It is wishing back high incomes, and when we should have`s for investments.

But wishes will get us nowhere.

So we circle the houses in our price range future, we put aside our dreams of stainless steel and remind ourselves that it is the land and location that is important!  That houses can be changed, but views cannot! That we really, really do just want a meadow instead of beach access!

Because sometimes you can get carried away! And we will need to make compromises to do what we are dreaming of. We will need to give us some luxuries in our home to be able to afford luxuries in our life!  And yes, that may mean that the camp bed mentioned previously will now be a tent outside, but hopefully that will be okay (we can bribe  guests with wine instead!)

And it is continually forcing confidence in ourselves down our own throats. Testing ourselves as to our resolve by asking each other over and over (and over ) again “do you REALLY want this“ and routinely saying (just to make ourselves feel better) that everything is going to be ok.

It is reminding ourselves, again, and again, just WHY we are doing this. It is so easy to be overwhelmed, to think back and start to glorify the life we are leaving behind. You start to think, maybe I was overreacting, and just possibly it wasn’t as bad as we thought…

But then, our courage comes back. Because this is what it is all really about, taking the chance to build our life anew. Taking the chance to risk what we have worked for, for what we think we want.

And it comes down to space… again, and again, it comes down to space. So as hubby and I sit here with a bottle of wine and burdened minds, we go back over our reasons. All the low points, all the things we are escaping (yes, escaping *see note) in our yearning for choices.

All our dreams,  the realistic ones, not the extravagant ones! All our worries, and there are many, about what may come, and what may not.

And we drill into our minds, that everything is going to be all right.

It has to… right?

 

*(note, I know we shouldn’t talk to trolls, but in my comment above re: escaping, I want to clarify!  I am not running scared,unable to resolve my issues. I am escaping the parts of my community that I no longer want. For example, we are “escaping” the city chaos, we are “escaping” what we feel are the over populated trails, we are “escaping” many things that are specific to our goals. I have no opinions on what your goals and preferences are. If this is something you love about your community, all the best to you.  I am not saying that my community or the people in it are undesirable, I am just saying that I am choosing something different  )